DO A Q&A: EMAIL CWIS! 18+

ABenjaminButton

24, New York USA & Italy | March 14, 2018

I’ve racked my brain for years trying to figure out if I can really point to a childhood event, traumatic or not that could help explain my development into becoming an AB/DL. I do have a younger sister who was born when I was around five years old and I suppose I could credit losing my “baby” status as being a less than pleasant time but I really attribute my being AB not so much to losing my babyhood as I do to simply having a very privileged childhood experience. Perhaps this is just seeing the glass half-full, but all my memories about childhood are feelings of comfort and security, hot Florida days playing outside my house or at the beach where we went a lot as kids. My parents and grandparents were very warm people always cuddling and singing to us. My mom is a pianist and I used to take cozy naps with my big sister under the piano at home while she would practice. There was a carefree attitude to being a kid that was so impactful to how I see and process the world today, that even outside of little space helps me react to situations calmly and, when I am stressed out or depressed, retreat into as a healthy way to cope. 

As far as my DL-ness goes I can only point to early tactile experiences where I used to simply like the feeling of having something thick between my legs like a pillow or blanket. I used to have a pair of overalls where I could hang the straps that go over my shoulders up on this treadmill we had in my home growing up. I know this sounds like a major child-safety hazard but I remember I used to love the feeling of hanging there only supported by the seat of my overalls. To this day that feeling has made me very curious to delve more into play where I’m bound by rope or am wearing constricting clothes while also being suspended in the air. [READ MORE] 

BabySidekick

23 New Hampshire USA | April 4, 2018

I feel this is somewhat true. My childhood, or lack thereof, was spent mostly either grounded secluded to my room, being the housemaid, being dragged from one town to the next moving constantly and I never truly had the social experiences or friends to help me grow as a person until I was well in my teen years. Neglect, abuse, you name it - I've been through it and I do feel my lack of a loving family influences my desire to be a little guy that needs to be taken care of and snuggled. [READ MORE] 

Little Skywalker

23 San Francisco CA USA | April 2, 2018

Fun story, I was adopted when I was super little, so I think abdl subconsciously came out as a coping mechanism for me to deal with that. Overarchingly I have a few abandonment issues, which I also think comes out of that. Consciously, I’m totally fine with being adopted. But maybe my subconscious wants something more. [READ MORE] 

DiaperBoyAres

24, The Netherlands | January 11, 2018

I’ve read things about ‘a trigger event’ that could cause it. I think you can’t be born with a diaper fetish, as an unborn can’t know what a diaper is. Maybe you can be born with the ability to develop a fetish? Maybe it was already certain that I would have a fetish when I was born. It just only had to be specified.

I do have this theory that it was because of the birth of my younger sister. (I was almost 3 years old). My parents later always told me that I was super happy when I got a little sister. But that’s not really what I remember (I do love her now though!). 

I was an only child, and therefore I would receive 100% of the attention from my parents. But then all of a sudden I had a little sister who got all the attention. The baby gets cuddled. The baby gets fed. The baby gets its diaper checked. The baby needs a diaper change. The one who is the baby, gets all the frikin’ attention!

That might be the reason why I glorified the idea of being a baby. I’m not sure, but it’s the most likely reason I can think of. [READ MORE] 

KineseCD

20, Amsterdam, The Netherlands | April 15, 2017 

I don't believe so, no. I have my fair share of childhood trauma but I think everyone has at least one thing like that. It's not very hard to see a connection between that trauma and ABDL but it's a bit strange that I would develop a sexual interest in diapers (somewhat geared towards the submissive side of diaper-related power dynamic, and I think that's where it started) and have no immediate interest in stuffed animals (that aspect came much later and sort of clicked onto it), which is what the 'trauma' is related to. [READ MORE] 

ATwinkyToddler

21, Pacific Northwest USA | March 4, 2017

Maybe a little bit, as I've known that being an ABDL was a part of me from an early age. I can say, though, that the poor life experiences that I have had has made me a better person. I was between homes quite a bit, suffered through a lot of physical and mental abuse, had alcoholic family members who weren't the most friendly drunks, changed schools a lot, and at times thought I wouldn't ever make it to adulthood. You know, what I've learned is that I guess at the least, I know how I'll never treat another human being.

Maybe I want to relive the childhood I never had, and never got the nurturing that was typical of children. I'm not stuck in the past, I've never let myself become a victim of my own circumstances, I was too strong to do that.  

Here I am today, I could never be happier, and I love my life. [READ MORE] 

Joshy aka ChooChooBaby

33 Buffalo, NY USA | July 2, 2015

Psychology - one of my favorite subjects!  I also believe we have certain behaviors and habits today that are from our childhood, whether the ABDL lifestyle is because of that or if it was learned because it became a centerpoint of sexual pleasure as a teen though, I'm not sure.  I was never abused or neglected, just not heard or understood at times.  I'm sure part of my little side is from the family dynamic I was in, but I can't pinpoint it exactly and probably never will -  I find it better to accept it and enjoy what I can with it :) [READ MORE] 

Crinklestar aka RobbiexRainbow

19 Archdale, NC | April 28, 2012 

I, being a person with burning love for psychology, have my own personal theory of where it came from for me. I have never met my father, and never had a decent fatherly figure. My mother sucked at parenting, and I moved around a lot so I never got attached to anyone. Infantilism, for me, is a way I cope with that and it brings me back to innocence. I’ve made a lot of friends in the community and enjoy talking to people who are “daddies” for the above reasons – they help fill a void. [READ MORE] 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

DiaperWhiz

28 Brooklyn NY USA | April 19, 2012

My childhood was kinda fucked up so I would believe that. I wore diapers til i was 5 years old, and my parents told me that for some reason I didn't want to give them up. Looks like I never did! haha, but I think that through the divorce and some other eff up family stuff I retreated to diapers because of their security. That makes sense to me. [READ MORE] 

Dinobaby

22 Newmarket on Fergus, County Clare Ireland | February 8, 2012 *1st Q&A Ever*

This is a difficult sort of question as so much has happened to me in life and ive seen a lot of bad stuff. I think im ab because of the way me and my mam were when she was alive as she would always cuddle me when we were on our town or if I got sad which I miss. I was never neglected as a kid but as a teenager I had to live with and see stuff which no teenager should ever see or a person should ever see. My mam was an alcoholic in my teenage years which eventually lead to her death. So living with her was hard. The abdl stuff is away for me to forget about the adult world sometimes and be happy and content. [READ MORE] 

Dprderic

30 Dallas TX USA | August 25, 2012

I tend to believe this as well, at least in how it relates to me. Actually, I've written about it on my own blog. The short of it goes like this: Because I had such a hard time with potty-training, my brain became fixated on the idea of security, of returning to a time when I didn't have to worry about having accidents.  

Many may not consider potty-training to be sufficiently traumatizing, but to a two-year old not ready to quit diapers, there may not be anything worse. [READ MORE] 

E-Wolf

18 Westminster MD USA | November 10, 2012

I would actually say the opposite of this is true. Some of my best memories are associated to diapers.

I remember being over at a friend’s house in kindergarten and it turns out he was a bed-wetter. He had to wear pull-ups every night and to help him feel comfortable I would wear them with him.

The fun part is that we would have them on hours before going to bed and we would just romp around the house in nothing but diapers and a t-shirt. I think that’s why diapers have stuck with me so long is because of those positive memories of being care-free and having fun with a close friend. [READ MORE] 

Heisenberg DL

27 New York, NY USA | May 12, 2017 

I lost my father at 18 and I was very close to him, granted my diapering came after that I don't think the two were related. When I lost my father I began drinking heavily, and I did have an unnatural taste for alcohol during my teenage years, I drank a lot, I buried pain, honestly I would turn to the diapering to avoid the drinking, well indulging the diapering anyway, and it did in the end take the drinking binges under control to the point where I turned to indulging the diapers over the alcohol. So In a way the diapers helped me to quit drinking as odd as it is to think about. [READ MORE] 

Inky Wonky

58 Salem Oregon USA | May 4, 2012

Yes I experienced traumas in my life and it bears it out why I felt more relaxed and willingly included wearing of diapers.

Until I was 6 yrs old I was punished by being put back into diapers whenever I had a wetting and messing accidents.  I even remember my mother bringing one of my sister gingham dresses along with us on vacation to our grandparents house in Montana.  It was hung up in our grandparents dining room as a reminder that I needed to behave myself including not wetting or messing myself or face the consequence of wearing my sister's dress.

I had problems with messing myself until at least turning 16 yrs of age, but was never forced to wear diapers during that time.  But I was scolded, screamed at, threatened and thoroughly beaten with a belt at least once after my mom had taken me to the dr's office and finding nothing physically wrong with me, he told her the reason why I possibly was doing this was because I was angry with her and was a way of getting back at her. 

So the next time I had an accident, my mother took me into the bathroom took a belt and spanked me severely then took the underwear and stuck it into my face in nose rubbing it the whole time.  From that time on whenever I had accidents in my underwear, was made to wash them out using a wash board into the toilet.

Needless to say I had my accidents at school too.  I didn't have many friends due to this, always being referred to as "stinky boy", "stink pot" and any other disgusting phrases to humiliate me.  It lasted throughout my school years until I graduated from high school.  I gladly moved away from home and the community I grew up in as it just provided a poor image of who I was growing up.

[TRIGGER WARNING]

Further, when I was about 14 my brother wanted me to participate in an activity that he said was just an "experiment".  He requested that both of us get naked and to get onto one of the beds in our room.  Then he had me turn over onto my stomach, he then got on top of me and before I knew what was happening to me, he was putting his penis deep inside of me – and it hurt!  I wanted him to stop.  I didn't understand why he was wanting to do that to me.  He told me that if I were to say anything to anyone that he would completely deny what had happened.  In later years counselors convinced me it was the closest thing to being referred to as rape!  By my own brother! [READ MORE] 

Jeffy

22 Austin Texas USA | February 9, 2013

I am the only child from my parents marriage, and my life past my 2nd year of life has represented that of the child of divorced parents. I’ve experienced the same heartache and heartbreak that I’m sure countless others can relate to. Other than that, I lived in a fairly normal and stable household, however suddenly being thrust into a family with 3 other kids to divide attention between and the drunken verbal harassment I endured from my stepfather may or may not have something to do with the way that I am now, but since then I have taken that entity and made it something completely my own, so therefore I cannot truthfully attribute my entire ABDL-ness to a single event in my life as if it were some sort of post-trauma ailment. [READ MORE] 

ThatLittleJoel

19 Wisconsin, USA | September 12, 2020

Yes and no. I was adopted, however I was adopted at an age where I do not remember it, so honestly maybe in the way back of my head it is subconsciously laying the ABDL foundation. I have had a few moments of hey maybe it was this, my mother had cancer when I was 8 and I had to take care of my younger siblings but it was not something that scarred me. My mom said, I became curious about where I came from and I had an idea, of oh how fun would it be to meet her, but not something I adamantly wanted. You know kids being kids and dumb stuff throughout my life maybe could have triggered it. But honestly in truth I have had a very privileged life! My parents love and care for me, they want me to succeed, and live a healthy and active life. I have twin brother whom I love dearly, five younger siblings, four sisters and another brother, all who I am thankful for. I have grown up with everything I have ever needed and things I have wanted. My life experiences do not really reflect that in the whole scheme of things.

Jonathan “Jon” Johnny

25 Greenwood Lake, NY | October 20, 2020

Neglect 100%. Not particularly my parents' fault, when I was 3 my mother had triplets so I went from the only child/getting attention every second to being put on the back burner. I remember coming out to where my parents and grandmother were, a baby in each arm. I was already potty trained but to get attention I walked out in just my underwear and messed myself. That really showed my parents I was crying for attention. These experiences have also soured my relationship with my brothers, don't get me wrong I do love them, but I never really tried to get too close to them.

Kyle/Kai

23 St. Louis MO USA | December 6, 2018

I can see that i would like the softness and safety that comes with them because i was a hospital baby and kid so a "padded" kid haha, the lifestyle is the normal for me. but i was also a mature kid growing  up (forced / choice of growing up in some ways very very early in life, not in a bad way though always good and behaved). [READ MORE] 

Kyleman93/DiaperedRebel

26 Saint Louis MO USA | February 1, 2019 

Yes and no, I was an angry child growing up and I took it out on everybody and everything else. I can't remember ever feeling a sense of innocense and being an ABDL is giging me a chance to feel that for the first time and it's terrifying. I kept this side bottled up for so long and I am just now getting to experiance these emotions for the first time and I feel vulnerable. [READ MORE] 

LittleBoyJakey

21 Richmond, VA | November 13, 2020

I 100% believe this, I suffered an unfortunate amount of verbal, mental, and physical abuse from my mother as a child. I think this directly influences my need to be a little, and my lack of desire for any mommies in my scenes. I'm sure the way my mother poorly handled my health issues with accidents and bedwetting definitely pushed me into ABDL. 

LT

22 Virginia USA | February 6, 2013

I have some theories that would lead me to believe that this is true in my case, but I have no concrete proof. I have a couple different things in my life that has led me to believe that I was molested as a young child and I think this stems from that. [READ MORE] 

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Mez

26 Anaheim CA USA | January 12, 2016 

Possible – my father was never around much due to work and my mom was overbearing and stressed, but I think my diaper are a product of my Freudian fixation on the Anal stage of development and control than my parental influences. [READ MORE] 

Min

33 Colorado Springs CO USA | November 15, 2016

I don't believe I was actually abused, I know I was spanked alot for things I would never spank a child for, such as not perfect grades in school (as in B's and C's), one time the neighbors heard/saw and called the police, I denied that I was hit but I remember it continuing well into middle school. I know my parents never used that type of punishment on my younger sister which I know some people may resent but I was actually happy she never had a go thru all that when she was younger. Maybe it did have some type of effect because I am a AB and she isn't, I do also find it a bit strange I enjoy getting spanked as an adult now. [READ MORE] 

NappiedMike

London UK | November 26, 2012

Nahh - I did have a particularly rough childhood and went to an all-male boarding school - perhaps that's where my (many) fetishes generally came from, perhaps not ... I just think we are what we are - whatever turns you on - as long as it doesn't do harm, cause offence or break the law, go for it! [READ MORE] 

Oliver

26 Rochester NY USA | July 8, 2018

I have very loving and caring parents, but I definitely had some challenging experiences as a child. I don't know if they correlate, but I suspect that my AB side (which has since disappeared) grew because it was an escape for me during hard times. [READ MORE] 

OneFitStoner420

28 Providence RI USA | June 10, 2018

My mother walked out on me when I was 8 years old, I only saw my dad on weekends and I was raised by my grandparents. [READ MORE] 

Pacifires

26 Alabama USA | March 4, 2019

Not really. I don't think so at least. The most traumatic thing I experienced growing up was having a dad and step-mom who were incredibly religious and anti-gay for a chunk of time. They used to make me feel like absolute garbage anytime they'd find anything suspect on my computer or phone. That stopped shortly after I got out of high school because I made it very clear that I wouldn't let any kind of toxicity continue to affect my life or my mental health.   Other than that, I've got nothing. I don't think I'm an AB/DL because of any past experiences or traumas. I think it's just a part of what makes me myself, y'know? [READ MORE] 

SDKBoi

24 Destin, FL USA | February 3, 2019

I would say yes, absolutely. Some of these traumas I still have to deal with as memories and some days it’s absolutely unbearable but we find ways to cope and it makes it a “little” better.  There are many times in the past that I remember having horrible experiences that have led me to become the boy I am today. Even as I got older there were some hardships that I went through that I would say without diapers I don’t know how I would have coped. [READ MORE] 

Shadow

28 Austin TX USA | February 9, 2019

I will say, I had an amazingly hard life as a child. I was born in a prison because both my mom and dad were arrested for running a meth lab. I was then sent to live with my grandma. I was with her until I was about 5, when my dad got out and came to live with us. I didn’t meet my mom until I was 9 years old. And she told me she didn’t want me to live with her because she couldn’t deal with me and my brother both. I was the loser and outcast at school and didn’t have any friends until high school, so I had to grow up quick and be on my own. I never felt like I was loved, cared for, or had family. Entirely probably that’s why I want to be a baby and nurtured and feel like I’m loved. [READ MORE] 

StrengthOfTurningTides

22 Shropshire UK | June 19, 2018

I'm a big believer in this one. I wouldn't say I've had a terrible childhood. But I can't seem to remember very many good times, even though I known they happened (like holidays and birthdays, etc). I think that's just the way I'm wired up, which is probably why I've been diagnosed with depression. Either way, the past is the past and I am who I am now, which is an ABDL, and t=I know that won't ever change which is a big comfort. [READ MORE] 

TeddyNhislittle

22 Chicago IL USA | February 9, 2019

Yes for me it does, since not having supportive parents when I was younger and being mocked and shamed by other i feel pushed me further into this lifestyle along with making me more of a shy and reserved person as it ties heavily into my little personality. Of course this isn't the case for everyone. [READ MORE] 

Windman

40s South Africa | September 30, 2012   

Life has never been a level playing field. I don’t know what other people have gone through but I lived with someone getting totally pissed out of their minds when I was young. Because of those experiences I have decided I will not be drunk ever.  A lot of people have been abused and neglected out there. Most emotionally and some physically.  I have seen tons of people want to recreate what they didn’t have a kids. It could be a stable home life, a loving parent who was never there or just the desire to experience true happiness again.  It isn’t my place to judge anyone or tell them how to cope what has happened to them in their lives but by the same token I totally get the need to want a better life than what fate has served up on us.  To me our community probably has one of the most practical and productive ways to deal with the stress life has thrown at us. [READ MORE] 

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Note that not every member of our community's experiences agree with my analysis... 

PaddedCrinkles

33 Phoenix AZ USA | April 14, 2019

Not at all. I grew up in a very stable household and my mother was a homemaker. I certainly struggled with my own sexuality and had my own demons I quietly fought on that front. But from a parental standpoint, my life was free of abuse or neglect.

Padded-DJ

27 New Orleans LA USA | June 3, 2018

This is something that I ponder frequently. While I have had traumas in my life, they did not come about until after I was already into diapers.  My childhood was not perfect by any stretch but I am a pretty lucky and privileged person. I would not go as far as to say I was neglected ever. I guess to answer your question, no, but I wonder why this came about all the time. [READ MORE] 

Pup Artemis

27 San Fransisco CA USA | October 16, 2018

I was the only boy in my family growing up. As such I got a lot of “be a big boy for mommy” whenever my mom traveled. So I had a hard time being a kid a lot because I wanted to be strong for mom. Now on the flip side when mom was around I was her total mommas boy. I actually had bed wetting issues until I was nearly 14 so I was in training pants for a lot longer then most people. [READ MORE] 

Welshdiaper

24 Wales UK | May 8, 2015

I've heard about this theory a lot, and it's always fascinated me to an extent. I was never traumatised as far as I am aware, I know that there was nothing particularly violent about my past. As a young child, I was very school work focused, and I was bullied for most of my school days. If that's played into me seeking to revisit my childhood now, I don't see the harm. [READ MORE] 

Baby L

Midwest USA | May 1, 2012 

Unfortunate I am one of the ones who's trauma has manifested itself again in my life in weird ways.  I use diapers and regression to go back to a time before I was abused, as if I can either repair the damage, or keep it from happening.  I've yet to overcome that, but will! [READ MORE]

Brad

26, Jonesborough, Tennessee USA | September 9, 2017 

I don't believe any of this. My parents were and still are some of the best parents anyone could have. They were strict but not abusive by any means. I believe a good spanking doesn't hurt to bring a child around either. I believe its just part of our lives like some like panties or cross dressing. Not my thing but more power to you. [READ MORE] 

DO A Q&A: EMAIL CWIS! 18+