Con Drop Is Real...
‘Con drop’ is real.
Con drop is that feeling of angst we get when we realize we’re leaving a place where we truly fit in for once, and returning to... real life.
LittleBroTyTy at CAPCON 2017
We wait our whole lives for the kind of cameraderie we achieve at events like CAPCON. Conventions are a place where being little, being different, or even being ‘weird’ feels completely natural. So leaving such a place brings on a depressed state that is, for many of us, like no other.
At Con we can run around in diapers, a onesie, or a footed sleeper, and nobody bats an eye.
We begin to feel comfortable in our own skin - or the diapers that cover it. For some of us attending for the first time, it’s the first time we’ll feel that comfortable.
We can literally change outfits every hour, and there’s always going to be someone new to tell us how adorable we look. That feels so empowering, hearing that! And it’s something most of us won’t be able to recapture once we leave this space, at least until we return.
Even if we were dressed as vanilla as could be, we could still have conversations out in the open that we can’t have back home. I talked to a man in a bar about changing a college boy’s first diaper since his toddler days, and the people at the next table joined in with a similar story of their own. Try having that conversation at Applebee’s tomorrow and see if you get the same reaction…
Most of us walked through a virtual mall of ABDL merchandise: diapers, and onesies, and pacifiers, and little gear, and adult baby furniture - tomorrow most of us will have to go back to shopping for those things online. Before this weekend we didn’t mind - now we’ve been waited on by the Casey, and going back to a dot com shopping experience just won’t feel the same.
Whether we spent most of our time this weekend snuggling in one of the cribs, playing in a playpen, racing tricycles around the track at top speed, or just taking deep breaths in the corner and trying to get the courage to talk to someone - or, in some cases, anyone - wherever we’re headed back to tomorrow, it’s likely we won’t be doing any of those things.
Some of us will go to a rave this weekend - but it won’t be the rave.
Some of us will return to classes - but they won’t be these classes.
Once the con organizers start taking down those barriers, this experience known as CAPCON is coming to a close, and real life is rearing its ugly head once again.
So we go back to real life, and what we know as ‘con drop’ begins.
For the first-timers… what is con drop?
First, be prepared to feel irritable for no reason - and to not understand why.
When coworkers or friends bother you with things that seem important to them, but ‘little you’ now realizes is grown-up trivial bullshit, you will resent the shit out of them - so much more so than usual.
Even ordinary responsibilities you were used to before con will seem like such an arduous chore after.
Everyday life stuff will feel exhausting and overwhelming after this high that we experienced over the weekend.
All that contributes to the feelings that we know as ‘con drop’.
For many of us who suffer from depression all year, the next week will be more serious - and it may be one of the worst we will experience. Even many those of us not normally afflicted are going to feel it. There’s no avoiding the depression that con drop brings, and while it does get easier with every con - five-time CAPCON attendee here - it doesn’t get that much easier.
A few tips, if you need them, to help you get through the next few days…
First, don’t be afraid to shut your eyes and relive your favorite moments. When you start feeling sad, meditate for a moment, and transport yourself back to the ball pit, or the pageant audience. Do that as often as you need to, for as long as you need to - you’ll be surprised how good it will make you feel.
Second, if someone you met at the con made an impact on you, don’t hesitate to send them a message and let them know about it! It could be a new friend, or someone you met and hung out with, or someone you just met for a moment in passing. It could even be a presenter or a pageant performer. Don’t be afraid to send a message and share something positive about someone - being honest, our community needs a lot more of that, anyway.
(And, side note: if you were in a clique or group that excluded someone, and you felt bad about it - stand up for yourself, and reach out to that person to apologize).
Third, for those who are in a position to do so: reach out to the local ABDL organizers in your own community and offer to help with the next event. Putting on events like these is often a thankless job, and ABDL events aren’t easy. And let’s be honest: one, two, or even a few conventions every year are just not enough. We shouldn’t be limited to feeling this amazing just once or twice a year… there should be ABDL conventions once a month! Every weekend, even! Reach out to your local community organizers and offer to help create the best event possible in your area. If there’s not a local community organizer, looks like it may be up to you - so become one, and start planning something amazing.
Finally - if things seem a little too dark, recognize the signs of that, and reach out. Reach out to someone in the community you trust, or someone in your own life that you trust, and let them know how you’re feeling. If recovering from the ‘drop’ takes you longer than a week or so, same.
The good news, for all of us, is that the next event is coming up.
Whether it’s West Coast Jungle Gym, or TeddyCon, or Tomkat, or KangaCon. Maybe it’s DiaperActive, or Diapers in the Desert, or Dipchella, or an Eagle Party. Or maybe it’s your local munch, or a weekend on the #LuvsBoat… something is coming.
Get involved with it, or at least get signed up for it… and let’s get ready to do it all again. I can’t wait to see you there.
Keep your head up… con drop is short-lived, and the next event will be here before you know it.